


Knock-Off

by AetherAria



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Ficlet, Prompt Fill, Roxanne "Smartest Person Megamind Knows" Ritchi, kidnapping but it's not really a big deal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 10:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19197265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherAria/pseuds/AetherAria
Summary: Not all villains are of the same caliber as Roxanne's boyfriend used to be.





	Knock-Off

**Author's Note:**

> An anon on tumblr sent me the prompt of: [The way you said “I love you.“ - A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips] for Megarox, and this was what came out.

He’s a mediocre upstart villain, compared to Megamind, Roxanne thinks. His ‘monologue’ is rambling and near-incoherent, and he’s aiming it directly at his - Roxanne nearly laughs aloud -  _off-brand webcam_ , he’s hunched over in his badly tailored costume like it weighs too much for his shoulders to lift, and he has so little charisma and stage presence that Roxanne can’t for the life of her remember the villain name he claimed not ten minutes ago. He doesn’t even have henchmen, or even a single  _lackey_ , which- well, there’s no way he could have grabbed her in the first place if it wasn’t for the telekinesis.

He doesn’t have a weapon trained on her. He’s not even  _looking_  at her. And his handcuffs are so goddamn cheap that Roxanne busts the lock open before the bastard even gets to his list of demands.

The de-bilitate setting on the de-gun she keeps in her purse (he had  _left her purse by her feet_ , for  _fucksake_ ) knocks him to the floor before he realizes all of the myriad ways he’s fucked this kidnapping up, but luckily she’s willing to inform him of his errors, slowly and precisely, as the beam keeps him down. 

Roxanne has  _exactingly_  high standards for villainy, she realizes as she spins the gun to de-stroy and mercifully melts the webcam setup. If a villain doesn’t bring the kind of panache and joy to it that Megamind did in his former career, what’s even the  _point_?

She’s zip-tying the drooling ‘villain’s’ hands behind his back when the spider-bot bursts through the wall, with a visibly panicked Megamind leaping from its back.

Roxanne stands with a smirk, de-gun still in hand and her hip cocked to the side.

“Hey, hero,” she says, more to watch the way he flushes at the word than for anything else. “Sorry you missed all the fun.”

“What- what- are you-” he stumbles towards her, a hand outstretched. “Are you alright, Roxanne?”

“You’ve ruined me for all other villains,” she says by way of an answer, eyebrow quirking up. “I get telekinetically yoinked off a park bench and handcuffed to a chair again and all I can think is,  _Megamind would never in a million years have used the built-in laptop microphone, this is just pathetic_.”

“Uhh?” Megamind says as Roxanne takes his hand, still twirling the de-gun in the other.

“Not that I’m not happy about your career change, but  _honestly_.” She grins. “No one does  _bad_  like you did, sweetheart.”

“Whuh,” he tries again, wide-eyed, and the fact that he’s still so stunned by praise makes her heart swell.

“I really love you,” she says, and when she leans in for a kiss Megamind finally relaxes, finally seems to realize that things are okay. He softens against her, and he breathes a laugh against her lips when she pulls away. “Now. Take me home before I give in to the temptation to kick this idiot in the head.”


End file.
